The Naked Truth
If it was written in the cosmos , I would’ve caught a fallng star by now right?
Instead , I kept looking up waiting for the moon to shower me with all the knowledge I'd been seeking. Always thirsty but never quenched for too long. To my prevail, I . Am. Still. Looking. Continuously learning and taking the chances that make me fearful but I know its needed!
The Naked Truth is... I'm not satisfied. You gave me coffee when I asked for tea, silver when I needed gold. Gave lust when I needed substance. Yes I know a healthy compromise is always best but I'm running on fumes. Fumes that will eventually get used. Then... What will I have to cling to? The truth is I'm not satisfied with mediocre love. Even though I sometimes give off average responses mixed with basic reactions. I've noticed that it is my concrete wall and helps keep my heart from floating upward.
I eat what is given but am never full. I tried to force myself to fill up on appetizers that I lingered longer than usual. But I realized that I fucked up because I didn't tell you. I didnt give you a chance to correct it, instead I walked away. If I had told you that I needed passion more than dick , would you have listened? Motivation instead of confusion, fire instead of a lantern , would you have obliged? Would you have taken ME into consideration? Should I stay silent and wait to be satisfied truthfully? We all love in our own way, could we have met halfway in a field of daisies and thorns?
The Naked Truth is I want to be tamed and free. I want to make love and songs. But I can only do that if I'm honest. With me , with you , with we. So instead of asking, leaping , risking this wall of mine, I walk away... From the stagnant feeling that held me captive for so long. I take accountability for all I've done and didn't do in this story line of cosmos. The truth is, I'm accepting seeds when I want the fruit , not realizing that without the seed there is no fruit! I want it all.
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My passion elevates when we are together and I can't shake it! Then it dissipates into the waves above pouring down on me like an ocean of want. I can swim but can you? So instead of me projecting my chaos of wants and more wants onto your lap, I choose to walk away from confusion and fear and I walk toward what will balance it all.
My love is like sand in your hands, slipping through your fingers with ever passing wave. Falling into my ocean of lust confusion passion seeking consistency. I'm in love with your chaos and I don't want to be. That wasn't the plan to be the only one with hands full of sand.. So I walk toward what will mold me , hold me, console me.... The Naked Truth is..... I loved you the first time I kissed you , but my ocean is deep , vast and powerful... He couldn't wouldn't swim so I must walk away toward what will ride my waves...
... The truth is...
